


Deleted Scenes from "Wait, You Are Supposed To Put It Where?"

by HobbitFeels



Series: Wait... [5]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Infidelity, M/M, Mutual Masturbation, On the outside fringes of Durincest, Oral Sex, Voyeurism, emotional smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-09-04
Updated: 2014-02-23
Packaged: 2017-12-25 13:48:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 10,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/953830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HobbitFeels/pseuds/HobbitFeels
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A requested place to put deleted/alternate scenes from "Wait, You Are Supposed To Put It Where?"  </p>
<p>Most of these scenes will not necessarily be stand-alones, but you can try if you'd like.<br/>1. Alternate morning scene for Chapter 78 (not a standalone)<br/>2. Things people have made for the fic<br/>3. Dwalin & Balin talk about Thorin (not a standalone)<br/>4. "What If" smut remix scene for Chapter 12, Bilbo/Kili (not entirely a standalone, but lots of smut)<br/>5. "What If" smut remix scene for Chapter 86, Bilbo/Bofur (not entirely a standalone, but smut)<br/>6.  Continuation of smut remix scene for Chapter 86, Fili/Bofur, Kili/Bilbo, Bilbo/Bofur.  Not Durincest, strictly speaking, but Fili and Kili do things with their lovers in the same room.  Fili is nude.  Proceed with caution if this sort of thing is one of your squicks. (Can stand alone as smut)<br/>7. Link to lovely Kilbo art by http://hvit-ravn.tumblr.com, commissioned by reader http://sradanvers.tumblr.com<br/>8. Link to more lovely Kilbo art by http://miusart.tumblr.com, commissioned by reader http://sradanvers.tumblr.com<br/>9.  Link to MORE lovely Kilbo art by http://heidiblack.tumblr.com, commissioned by reader http://sradanvers.tumblr.com</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Deleted morning scene, chapter 78

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by ["Wait, You Are Supposed To Put It Where?"](https://archiveofourown.org/works/674384) by [HobbitFeels](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HobbitFeels/pseuds/HobbitFeels). 



> This is the other waking scenario I sketched out for Chapter 78. I decided the other one worked better with the narrative, but Bofursunboundbraids wanted to see the other possibility.

Kili woke tucked into Bilbo's side. He popped open an eye and saw Thorin cuddled into Bilbo's other side. They didn't go to sleep in this arrangement. _How did we wind up like this?_ Kili wondered. He was not sure how much he cared. Waking up in Bilbo's arms--however clothed--was one of the best things about his life these days. He slipped a hand under Bilbo's shirt and lightly caressed his skin. He burrowed his nose into the hobbit's neck and began to lick and kiss. Kili figured it wouldn't be terribly upsetting to a sleeping Thorin if he woke Bilbo as he would any other morning. Bilbo seemed to be sleeping heavily, though, and was not immediately responsive.

Thorin woke with Bilbo's scent in his nose and his body warm against him. He was confused for a moment but realized he must have been dreaming. How terrible to have to face Smaug again--this time for real--but he'd do it ten times over to have Bilbo with him now. Thank the maker that all that horribleness with the battle and losing Bilbo had been a dream. How long must he have been asleep? No matter. He rubbed himself sensuously against the body next to him, licking a stripe from Bilbo's collar to his ear. Bilbo moaned and stirred.  
"Oh my love," Thorin whispered. "I've had the worst dream."

Bilbo's mind was suspended in the twilight between sleeping and wakefulness. He was not yet thinking, but still very capable of feeling. Hands, glorious hands were on his body. He nearly purred. Kisses and licks were pressed against his neck and up to his ear by busy tongues. His body was beginning to sing with sensation as he was surrounded with-wait, _tongues _? As in, more than one? Eyes still closed, he did a quick inventory. No fewer than three hands were on his body right now, one gently stroking over his clothed erection. Two mouths, each on a different side of his neck. His eyes popped open and flicked down. Kili was tunneling under his shirt; Thorin was cupping his cock. Oh _gods_. __

__"Um, Thorin?" Bilbo said._ _

__Kili's head snapped up at another name in his lover's mouth as he was being kissed._ _

__Thorin was oblivious to anyone but he and Bilbo in their bed. "Yes, my love?" he replied as he ran his tongue around the edge of Bilbo's ear.  
Bilbo cleared his throat as he gently and discreetly moved Thorin's more _active_ hand up above his waist. _ _

__Confused, Thorin pushed himself up on his elbow and took in the full scene. Kili's expression was sour and Bilbo looked confused._ _

___It had clearly not been a dream then_ , Thorin thought. This was not Lake Town, and Bilbo was not his fiance beneath him in his bed. He felt some relief that he would not have to endure Smaug or another potential battle, but he did not think it a fair trade if the crushing reality was still that Bilbo belonged to Kili. _ _

__"I've been alone so long, I thought for a moment I was still in Lake Town when I woke to someone warm in bed with me." Thorin mumbled in explanation.  
Kili seemed mollified by this but Bilbo was even sadder than before._ _


	2. Things folks have made for this fic

This is not a deleted scene, but it is something that came from the fic. I wrote lyrics for a simple song in Chapter 74 and the amazing Come-chaos made something brilliant with them and recorded it for this fic. I'm still so floored and honored that she did this. 

http://come-chaos.tumblr.com/post/58612353170/my-beloved

Also, a few folks have made cute graphics for this fic. I've tried to round them up in one Tumblr post here--

http://hobbit-feels.tumblr.com/post/60494838911/here-are-some-wonderful-graphics-and-things-that

Sradanvers commissioned this Kilbo art for this fic specifically from miusart on tumblr in honor of one of her favorite scenes from Chapter 22--http://hobbit-feels.tumblr.com/post/76324407605/so-sradanvers-commissioned-this-beautiful-piece

Sradanvers also commissioned this Kilbo art for this fic specifically from wonderful artist hvit-ravin on tumbr--http://hvit-ravn.tumblr.com/post/67871407075/for-sradanvers

Sradanvers also commissioned this Bagginshield art from clarice82art on tumblr specifically to commemorate one of Bilbo & Thorin's talks in Thranduil's jail--  
http://clarice82art.tumblr.com/post/129087196165/final-bagginshield-commission-for-my-dear

Thank you all so much for reading, supporting, and creating wonderful things <3


	3. Dwalin and Balin, Chapter 81

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deleted from Chapter 81, but you may assume it happened this way at some point after Bilbo left the mountain.
> 
> Deleted because I'm not sure I feel the need to develop the brothers' paranoia with follow-through on their smoking gun theory enough to include it in the main narrative.

Thorin was emerging from Bilbo's room early in the morning when he heard a familar voice.

"Thorin? Is something amiss?" Balin asked.  
"Why do you ask if something is amiss?" Thorin asked defensively.  
"Well, you are dressed for bed," Balin gestured at Thorin's garments, "and you are not in your chambers."  
Thorin summoned his authority. "I was not aware a king needed to notify his advisers to walk through his own halls in the early hours."  
"Of course not, of course not. Erm, carry on then," Balin said. 

After Thorin disappeared around the corner, Balin crept into the room Thorin had left. Balin knew it was Bilbo and Kili's room when they visited. He reached out a hand to feel the bedding. It was still warm in the center and the air smelled faintly of extinguished candle. Balin frowned.

*****

Dwalin whistled to himself while he cleaned his weapons. He hadn't much call to use them in recent weeks, but he enjoyed the ritual of caring for them all the same.

Balin poked his head inside the door. "Dwalin? May I have a moment with you?"  
"What is it you need?" Dwalin asked.  
"Have you noticed Thorin behaving rather oddly?" Balin asked.  
Dwalin sighed wearily. "You will have to be far more specific. It might be easier to ask when was the last time I saw him not behaving oddly."  
"Since Bilbo was here, or perhaps since he's left?" Balin asked.  
Dwalin snorted. "He has not been the same since he tried to drop the hobbit from the gate, honestly."  
Balin clicked his tongue and nodded as he thought. "Do you think it has gotten worse?"  
"I do not like to admit it, but I do," Dwalin said. "He's...well, he seems obsessed."  
"I have never heard of the dragon sickness in regards to anything but treasure, but perhaps he has settled on Bilbo as a substitute for gold," Balin said.  
"He was rather possessive of Bilbo before we traveled up river, though," Dwalin argued. "I don't know if it could be attributed to dragon sickness."  
"I am worried. His pining for the hobbit is robbing him of vital focus," Balin said.  
"I agree, but there is no speaking to him about it. I have tried and I was, eh, _strongly rebuked_ for my efforts," Dwalin said.  
Balin added, "I tried to speak to Bilbo on Thorin's behalf, but he was resolute."  
"You what? Why would you do that?" Dwalin asked.  
"Why wouldn't I have?"  
"Things took an unfortunate turn in the way it came to pass, but Bilbo has feelings for Kili so strong he twice left the mountain with him and he's taking him back to the Shire. Trying to talk Bilbo into coming back is not the answer. It will only bring more misery, not just for Thorin but for Kili and Bilbo himself," Dwalin explained.  
"But that is what Thorin wants! He will not be happy without Bilbo!" Balin argued.  
"He is going to have to figure out a way," Dwalin said firmly. "King he may be, but the rest of the world does not revolve on the needs of his heart, no matter how we may wish it for the good of Erebor."  
"I guess we simply have to give him time," Balin conceded.

*****


	4. Smut remix of Chapter 12: What if they had not stopped?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first "What If" smut chapter. 
> 
> A remix of Chapter 12, this is what would happen if Kili had not told Bilbo he loved him, not reminding him of something similar he said to Thorin, and therefore not bringing him back to his right mind before his feelings for Kili carried them past the point of no return. 
> 
> For anyone reading this outside the main tale, my fic smut disclaimer is that it is more fun to assume dwarves and hobbits have short turnaround time and large sexual appetites. Makes the smut more fun :D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are a few familiar passages I ported over from the main fic, I figured if they happened in that timeline, some of the same things might be said/done if they happened here, too. I also used a fair chunk of the lead-up as I thought it made sense to set the original scene.

Bilbo," Kili murmured. "Show me."  
"Kili, we can't." The desire and desperation in Bilbo's voice--along with the hardness Kili could feel in the hobbit's groin--made him continue his advance.  
Kili ran his tongue from Bilbo's collar up to his ear and whispered, "Teach me. I want to feel you."  
The hobbit could not repress the moan that escaped his lips. He had been fighting this attraction to Kili for too long. Those eyes, that sweet smile, his loyalty, his love... _gods_ , his body pressed against him.

Kili placed small kisses along Bilbo's jawline and was perilously close to his mouth.  
"Drive me mad, Bilbo," Kili breathed against his lips. "You have my permission."

The dwarf's eyes met Bilbo's, silently appraising him. The hobbit knew he would be way in over his head if he let himself get lost in everything those eyes had to offer him. His inner voice was screaming at him to step back. He knew did not have enough strength left to fight his own desires should Kili kiss him. In trying to catch his breath, he took in an involuntary gasp and that was all the dwarf needed. Kili closed the distance between them and sealed his mouth on Bilbo's.

Kissing Bilbo was almost too much for Kili. Bilbo's hesitation dissolved quickly and Kili felt him yield, opening his mouth and wrapping his arms around the dwarf's neck. Bilbo seemed to return the kiss with all the passion and longing that Kili felt himself. Kili ran his hand down Bilbo's chest and began unbuttoning his shirt. As he worked, his mouth moved onto placing gentle kisses down Bilbo's neck and collarbone. Bilbo breathed his name. Kili ran his hands over the newly exposed flesh and reveled in it being solid and warm under his fingers. Bilbo's hands were roaming over Kili's back, dropping lower and disappearing under his waistband. Kili hissed in a breath. Bilbo slid his hands around to the front and started untying the laces of Kili's trousers. Kili dove in for another kiss as Bilbo untied his own trousers as well.

Kili nearly choked on Bilbo's tongue when the hobbit reached inside and touched his prick for the first time.  
"Mmmm," Bilbo purred. "Very, very nice."

Kili was letting out breathy moans, simply enjoying the feel of Bilbo's touch at first. He decided he wanted Bilbo to feel this pleasure, too. He slipped Bilbo's trousers off his hips and wrapped his hand around his cock. Bilbo grunted and let his head fall forward on Kili's shoulder.  
"Yes," he breathed.

Bilbo's hands snaked under Kili's tunic and he interrupted Kili's ministrations to pull it off. His eyes swept over Kili's torso. He was lean--smaller and leaner than Thorin--but still strong and muscular. He did have a shorter torso, but Bilbo thought it looked lovely in proportion to Kili's longer legs. He appreciated that Kili's frame fit so well Bilbo's own size. He was hairy but not in the usual dwarvish manner. There was a nice growth along the chest and down his abdomen, ending in a tidy nest at the base of his cock. Most of all, Bilbo was stunned to see a circular gold ring through Kili's left nipple. He pushed Kili backward toward the door until he was against it before bending to take the ring in his mouth. He rolled it on his tongue and nibbled at the nub it was threaded through. Kili clapped his hand over his mouth to catch the moan coming from his throat.

"Feels so good," Kili whispered.

As Bilbo licked and bit at his chest, Kili slipped the shirt off Bilbo's shoulders and smoothed his hands over the soft skin. Bilbo pushed Kili's trousers downward but was momentarily snared.  
"Kili, boots," Bilbo said.  
Reaching behind him to latch the door first, Kili crossed to the bed to pull off his boots. Bilbo climbed up behind him. He brushed the hair off Kili's nape and kissed it, dropping feathery kisses the rest of the way down his spine. Boots off, Kili stood and removed the rest of his clothes. Bilbo rose up on his knees facing him.

"You look...perfect," Kili sighed. He climbed up with Bilbo and seized him. " _Mahal_ , you feel perfect, too."

Bilbo felt Kili's warm, bare arms around him for the first time. He loved the feel of those hands rubbing all over his skin. Kili was right. It did feel perfect. He pushed Kili gently down on the bed and settled between his legs.

Kili glanced down curiously, just in time to see Bilbo take him in his mouth. Wet heat swept over his cock with a delicious pressure. He arched up and bit his cry into his forearm. Pleasure shot through his veins--the sensation was like nothing he'd ever felt before. It was all warmth and friction as Bilbo worked his cock in and out of his mouth, tightening a bit here, licking a bit there. Every muscle in his lower body was tightened as all too soon he felt an unmistakable urge build within him. He was going to warn Bilbo, but the hobbit slipped off him and kissed his way back up his torso.

"That was, I don't even, how did you," Kili babbled, not quite able to get out a sentence.  
Bilbo smirked. "Just you wait."  
Kili growled and grabbed Bilbo roughly. "I do not wish to wait anymore," he said, before crashing their mouths together. He pushed his tongue inside Bilbo's mouth and the hobbit whimpered and bucked against him.  
"Slick," Bilbo rasped. "Do you have any slick?"  
Kili produced a small bottle of leather oil.  
"Is this where it starts?" Kili asked.

Bilbo throbbed with desire for Kili. The dwarf's kisses alone nearly drove him crazy but seeing him naked made him _burn_. He was driven by a singular compulsion to have him.

His voice was husky with his need. "If you wish it. Do you still wish it?"  
Kili gently took Bilbo's wrist and guided his hand underneath him. "Please."

Bilbo nudged a pillow under Kili's hips to make it easier, not willing to lose the eye contact by facing him downward. He poured out some oil and questing, slick fingers found their way to Kili's entrance. Bilbo massaged around it and watched Kili twitch. He was already breathing heavy and his skin was mottled with a flush of pleasure. Stretching him was going to seem like an eternity; Bilbo wanted him right now.

Kili's breath hitched as Bilbo slipped inside him. It felt odd. It was so _invasive_. His mind raced. He had dreamed about Bilbo for so long. Being naked with him hardly seemed real, much less this thing Bilbo was doing to him. Bilbo moved inside him gently and gradually. Kili felt a knuckle bump against him and knew Bilbo was all the way in.

"I'm going to slip another one inside you," BIlbo whispered.

 _Another one_? Kili thought. He felt a sting. This time it hurt a little.

"It hurts," Kili said.  
"It does a little. Touch yourself, it will distract you. I promise it won't hurt for long," Bilbo said.

Kili felt exposed with Bilbo's fingers in his backside while he touched himself, but instead of being embarrassed, it aroused him more. Bilbo and Bilbo alone could have this from him.

Bilbo closed his eyes and hummed in pleasure. "You look and feel glorious, Kili. The waiting is killing me."  
"Then why--why wait?" Kili panted.  
"Because if we don't stretch, it will not feel so glorious for you," Bilbo replied.

Kili felt the second finger finally slip to the root. He could not get over the fact that Bilbo was touching him _inside_. He had to keep reminding himself to breathe. He felt a spike of pleasure and yelped before he could quiet himself.

"Shhhh. Do you want to feel that again?" Bilbo asked, grinning.  
"I want to feel that forever," Kili sighed dreamily.  
"Put your hand over your mouth," Bilbo commanded before repeating the motion.

Kili had never known pleasure like this before. The head of his cock felt heavy and it was all so intimate and strange. He felt himself being stretched wider and he knew Bilbo had pushed another finger inside him. Yesterday, he did not know that such a thing was possible. Now he was about to beg for more. He pushed back, making Bilbo groan throatily.

"Fuck, Kili, yes," Bilbo said.  
"I think I'm going to come," Kili gasped.  
"I don't think it is possible like this," Bilbo replied. He grinned devilishly as he eased his digits out. "But I know a way you can."

Bilbo slicked himself and crawled between Kili's legs. Bilbo must have looked his question because Kili repeated, "Drive me mad."

Love and lust flowed through his veins as he pressed into Kili. He took his time, although it was nearly a torture to do so. Kili whimpered beneath him. Bilbo stroked his thigh and murmured words of comfort.

Kili thought Bilbo felt impossibly large as his cock opened him. There was discomfort, but the intimacy of Bilbo physically entering his body through his most private opening dominated his thoughts and drew his focus. He was dimly aware of Bilbo caressing his leg and speaking soft and low.

Kili shook and grabbed at Bilbo as he sank the rest of the way in. He was breathtakingly tight and Bilbo could feel the dwarf's heartbeat softly thud against his prick. Bilbo sucked a breath in through his teeth and gave Kili a moment to adjust. He looked at Kili's face. His eyes were wide, stunned, and gazing upon Bilbo as though he were one of the Aratar.

Kili felt stuffed full. It was filthier than anything he had ever thought of. No whispers he had heard in any tavern had ever readied him for this. He gazed up at Bilbo and thought sure the hobbit was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

"Kili, you are exquisite," Bilbo said breathlessly.  
"You are," Kili replied.

Somewhat used to Bilbo inside him, Kili began to crave movement. If Bilbo's fingers felt that good, surely his cock would feel good, too.

"When is it...more?" Kili asked.  
"Now, if you are ready."  
Kili bit his lip and nodded.

Bilbo smiled and began to move shallowly. Kili shuddered out a breath and rolled back against him. Bilbo had to swallow a moan. As he moved deeper and more steadily, he felt a warmth spread through his body. He was the one giving and somehow he felt so _taken_. When Kili's eyes met his, the feeling intensified. Bilbo felt a burning need to get closer, as close as he could. He nudged Kili's legs to spread so he could lean forward to kiss him and to his surprise, Kili was able to spread his legs completely wide in a split. Bilbo could lay nearly flush against his chest like this.

"You certainly are _bendy_ ," Bilbo panted.  
Kili giggled and Bilbo felt it to his root.

Bilbo bent forward to hold Kili closer and claimed a blistering kiss from his lips. Kili's hands caressed his back and Bilbo felt nearly dizzy. Bilbo leaned heavier into his kiss, needing more of Kili. More of his mouth, more of his hands, more of how the dwarf made him feel.

Love.

Bilbo felt so much love.

Kili had an odd buzzing sensation low in his abdomen that seemed to roll out into his limbs. Everything seemed so much greater: sounds were amplified, touches were as lightning, and he could almost taste this thing growing between them. It was real and more raw than even the best of Kili's daydreams.

Their moans were muffled by their kisses. A chant of _lovehim lovehim lovehim_ ran through Bilbo's mind in rhythm with his strokes. He pushed himself up on an arm to look at Kili again only to find he was being observed himself through half-lidded eyes. The gravity of the situation struck him. What had he started? He and Kili were partially consummating a bond. A bond he didn't even know if Kili wanted. He needed to stop. Stop now, stroke Kili to his finish, and walk away. The problem was, now that they started, he did not _want_ to.

Kili watched a shadow fall over Bilbo's face as they looked at each other. He was sure he was probably imagining it, but he could almost feel Bilbo withdraw even though his movements in and out remained steady.

Kili took Bilbo's hand and placed it over his heart. "Whatever you are thinking, just stop. Please. Let us have this."

Sudden tears pricked the back of Bilbo's eyes and he fell on top of Kili, pressed inside him but no longer moving. His voice was ragged and desperate.  
"You don't understand, Kili," he said. "You don't know what this means."  
Kili held Bilbo close. "Make me understand," he pleaded.  
"This is not only physical. This is--this is bonding. I thought that the marking came at the end, but I already feel it," Bilbo laughed incredulously through his tears. "I already feel it and I'm not even the one being taken. I don't know if we can go back."  
"I don't want to go back," Kili said.  
"You'll be tied to me," Bilbo whispered.  
Kili seized Bilbo's face. "You think I don't want that? Do you have any idea how long I've been in love with you? I want it. I want you. I love you."  
Kili kissed Bilbo. "I love you," he repeated.  
Bilbo began to move again.  
"I love you, Kili. Gods, when did this happen? I'm fucking crazy about you."

Bilbo propped himself up on his arms, changing his angle and causing Kili's body to bow on the next stroke. Bilbo clapped a hand over Kili's mouth when he started to wail. Kili moaned into his hand.

"Shhhh. Muffle yourself or we'll have company, dear heart," Bilbo said.

Bilbo was a jumble of emotion and his mind was running fast. He grabbed for the bottle of slick and sat back, still pushing shallowly in and out of Kili. He held onto Kili's knee for balance and reached behind himself.

"What are you doing?" Kili asked.  
"Getting myself ready for you," Bilbo panted.  
Kili groaned. " _Mahal_!"

Kili wished he could see Bilbo open himself. It sounded sinful and erotic. As he watched Bilbo move, realization dawned on him.

"Getting yourself ready for me? I get to do this to _you_?" Kili asked, astonished.  
"Oh gods, yes," Bilbo replied.  
Kili's eyes blazed. "When?"

Bilbo thrust in deeply a couple more times and then backed out. He slicked Kili's cock, straddled him, and began to work him inside. Kili covered his own mouth so he wouldn't cry out loudly. Bilbo felt so smooth, hot, and tight around him. His description of it did not do it justice by a long road. 

Once all the way in, Bilbo began to move. Kili grabbed his thighs and matched his rhythm. Bilbo was sucking in desperate grunts in an attempt to keep himself silent. Something about the way Kili felt inside him made him want to _scream_. He was engulfed in both sensation and emotion. Bilbo's body responded to every touch, every thrust, and every stifled groan of pleasure. Something was happening between them, something different than anything else Bilbo knew. 

Kili was drowning in love with Bilbo. The heat, the pressure, and the slick smoothness were beyond divine. Bilbo was beautiful above him, naked and awash with desire. Kili could scarcely believe this was happening, that Bilbo had let him in, or that anything could feel this way. Bilbo was overwhelming each of his senses and he was not sure how much more he could take.

"I'm close to finishing," Kili gasped.  
"Inside me. Come inside me," Bilbo begged. 

Kili grasped Bilbo's hips more firmly and pumped him hard for his last few strokes. Strangling a cry as best he could, Kili surged upward and filled his lover. Bilbo could swear he felt it everywhere. He fell forward and kissed Kili's open, panting mouth before easing off. He rested against Kili's chest, not wanting to rush him.

"Do that to me," Kili whispered.  
"What?"  
Kili smoothed a hand down Bilbo's body. "I want to know what you look and feel like when you come. Please."

Bilbo nudged Kili's legs back and sank inside him again. He could not help but quake a little. Even before a proper finish, this had been deeply fulfilling. His best friend had just become his lover and nothing could have prepared him for how right it felt. He increased his speed and allowed himself to become lost in the moment. If Kili wanted to be claimed, Bilbo would claim him. In fact, Bilbo never wanted anyone but himself to touch Kili again. Bilbo leaned his head on Kili's collarbone and braced against his shoulder as he stroked harder.

Bilbo heard Kili's voice near his ear plead, "I want this. I want _us_." It sent him over the edge. He sprayed inside Kili as he quieted a scream into the pillow. Twitching with aftershocks, he pushed forward to give Kili a tender kiss before collapsing against him. He mused that there always _was_ something special about Kili that he couldn't resist. Bilbo could not seem to stop the rush of his blood. 

Kili held Bilbo against him and relished the feeling of Bilbo's heart pounding against his. He had never felt like this in his life, physically or otherwise. He felt Bilbo in every nerve in his body, down to his soul. It was almost paralyzing. Kili had been in love with Bilbo for a long while but he no longer knew a word strong enough for how he felt about him now. He had no idea something so obscene could be so profound. He did not think he could let Bilbo go.

They stayed still and lost in their own thoughts for a short while, enjoying the closeness of one another.

"I suppose I've broken my bond with Thorin," Bilbo said quietly.  
Kili had been so caught up in it all that he nearly forgot how it started. "Was it like this for the two of you?"  
"It was different for us. This...I don't know what this was. Other than mind-blowing," Bilbo replied. "Thorin said that consummating a union or a bond for dwarrows was like marriage."  
"For heterosexual couples it is. I've never heard of what we just did to know the precedent. I feel different, though."  
"Because I've imprinted you. We wear each other's marks," Bilbo said.  
"I was yours, anyway. All you had to do was ask," Kili whispered.  
Bilbo cleared his throat nervously. "Thorin was keeping us a secret for the good of the quest, but he expected us to marry," Bilbo confessed.  
"You're getting married?" Kili sounded frantic.  
"I can't. Not after this. I've already committed my wrong against him. What's more, I knew what I was doing. I knew what I was doing and I did not stop. Could not stop. " Bilbo propped himself up to look at Kili. "I can't go back to the way we were. Maybe if we had not gone so far, perhaps I could have kept lying to myself. As it is, I cannot deny how I feel any longer. I love you, Kili."  
"I think I've been in love with you for the whole journey," Kili admitted. 

Bilbo kissed Kili deeply. He would have been happy to spend hours naked with him simply as they were, but everyone was out looking for his new lover. 

"Fili and Thorin are looking for you. It is only a matter of time before they find you here," Bilbo said. "We should get up and get dressed."

Kili reluctantly agreed and they stood. He could clearly see his own seed drip out of Bilbo as he bent to grab his trousers.

"That is so filthy," Kili sighed in awe, running a finger through Bilbo's cleft.  
"What are you-oh!" Bilbo's thought was cut off when Kili pressed a finger inside him.  
"My seed is dripping out of you," Kili said, as though it explained everything.

He buried his finger once again. Bilbo fell back on the bed and Kili wasted no time nestling between his legs to prod at him. Bilbo squirmed in both bliss and confusion. They had just finished making love and he did not understand why Kili would be touching him again so soon.

"I wish you could see how you look wrapped around my finger," Kili said. He added a second digit. "Mmm, even more lovely."  
Bilbo gave himself over to how good it felt and sighed softly as Kili explored him.

Kili had not gotten the chance to touch Bilbo like this as the hobbit prepared himself for their coupling. Kili stroked, patted, and pressed curiously. He hit upon a certain spot and Bilbo mewled before having the presence of mind to mute himself. Kili smiled brightly at the discovery when Bilbo made his noise. He rubbed repeatedly along the area. Bilbo scrabbled for a pillow and held it over his head while he keened and moaned. He trembled all over with his muscles locked tight. His cock had stiffened again and was leaking a small puddle onto his stomach as Kili stimulated him. 

He pulled the pillow off his face for a moment and clutched it tightly under his chin.  
"Can't--can't," he stuttered.  
"Is it bad?" Kili asked, pausing. It didn't _seem_ bad.  
Catching a breath, Bilbo answered, "Don't know if I want you to stop or not to ever stop."

Kili grinned and went back to being fascinated by his fingers and his seed inside Bilbo. He added a digit and Bilbo arched off the bed with a shout. Bilbo had never felt such torturous pleasure. He felt like he was going to explode. All he could do was tearlessly sob as Kili relentlessly stimulated him.

Bilbo wailed at last, "I-I can't handle anymore."  
Kili kept moving. "Are you sure?" he asked, pressing firmly in shallow strokes.  
"I-I-" Bilbo started and then pulled the pillow full on his face to muffle the broken wail he let out. He was coming across his stomach, cock untouched.

Kili watched it, stunned. Once Bilbo came back to himself, he was rather stunned as well. Kili slowly withdrew his fingers. Bilbo looked completely ruined as his chest heaved.

"I did not know it was possible to come without touching yourself," Kili said.  
Bilbo lifted his head to look down at himself. "I didn't either. That has never happened before," Bilbo said, still shocked.  
Kili ran his fingertips through the wetness on Bilbo's stomach. He gave it an experimental lick.  
Bilbo's head fell back hard on the bed. " _Fuck,_ Kili. You are so sexy I think it might kill me."  
Kili ran his hand back through Bilbo's seed, more firmly this time, running his palm all the way to Bilbo's throat as he crawled on him.  
"May I have you again?" Kili asked sensuously.  
Bilbo did not think he could take any more stimulation but Kili's cock was hard against his side and the look in his eyes burned him in all the best places.  
"Yes," Bilbo whispered. 

Kili swiped up the last truly wet traces of Bilbo's spend and slicked it on his shaft. He rocked Bilbo's thighs back and pressed in with a groan. Bilbo was sensitive but Kili was gentle like this, gentler than Bilbo would have guessed. He encouraged Kili to an angle that was not as punishing to the sensitive spot that Kili just fingered into a frenzy. Bilbo sighed and moaned under Kili as he picked up speed, heading towards his end. Kili reached orgasm silently with his mouth open, as though it had gotten caught in his throat. He pulsed and his whole body jerked as the final waves of pleasure swept through him. 

Bilbo felt Kili stretch along his side when he was done, placing tender kisses along his shoulder. Bilbo tried to figure out what just happened to him. One moment, he was sitting here alone, resolute that no matter how they felt, he and Kili would have to agree to just be friends. Now he was boneless and thrumming from absolute ecstasy with two rounds of Kili's semen inside him. And so in love. He had no idea it could be like this. 

"Weren't we trying to get dressed?" Kili giggled.  
 _I love his laugh. I've always loved his laugh,_ Bilbo thought.  
"Yes we were. I hate to say it but," Bilbo sat up. "I think time is less on our side now than it was the first time."  
"I agree, but that does not mean I have to like it," Kili grumbled. 

They cleaned up as best they could and put their clothes back on. 

"Bilbo," Kili murmured, pulling Bilbo close to him. "I've not had the courage to speak my heart to you and it could have cost me dearly. After sharing our bodies, I can't keep my feelings quiet any longer. I want to be yours. No, I _need_ to be yours. Bilbo, will you have me?"  
Kili's eyes were pleading yet full of love. Bilbo swallowed hard. "What are you asking me?"  
Kili cradled Bilbo's face in his hands. "I want you to share my life. I want to marry you. Will you, Bilbo Baggins? Will you marry me?"

Bilbo was struck speechless. Two weeks ago, he was half-starved in Thranduil's dungeons. Today he had made love to a king and a prince, both of whom wished to marry him. Fate was certainly fickle. At least Kili had properly _asked_ him. Thorin had more or less simply told him they were betrothed. He knew he should tell Kili this was all a mistake and defer to his promise to Thorin. His sense of honor told him that was the right thing to do. That was not, however, what he _wanted_ to do. His heart had another impulse entirely. 

Before he could answer, there was a knock at the door and the sound of someone trying the doorknob.  
"Kili! Kili, please, I very much wish to speak with you," Thorin called from behind the door. 

"What do we do?" Kili whispered. 

Bilbo's heart was pounding from a mixture of Kili's proposal and Thorin at the door.  
He sighed heavily. "We could hide me and pretend this did not happen. Thorin never need know."  
"Or?"  
"Or you can answer the door and we will figure it out _together_ ," Bilbo said, gaze and emphasis making his meaning unmistakable. 

Without hesitation, Kili pressed a soft kiss to Bilbo's lips and walked to the door. 

The first thing Thorin noticed when Kili opened the door was that his nephew was a very _particular_ sort of disheveled that Thorin was only recently acquainted with himself. The second thing he noticed was the air so thick with the tang of sex (also new to him) that he could nearly taste it. He smirked. Here he had been thinking Kili had been crying into his boots or something similarly maudlin! 

Thorin inclined his head, wordlessly asking for entry. Kili opened the door wider and Thorin's eyes landed on a familiar figure, also wrecked and disheveled in a most _particular_ way. His heart sank.

"Bilbo?"


	5. The Birds And The Bees, Chapter 86 Remix

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A "What If" for Chapter 86. What if Bilbo and Bofur's morals were a little more...fluid? Perhaps "The Talk" would have gone something like this. A tad of Boffins for those of you who have been craving it in this universe.

"Why ask me? Why not ask Kee?" Bilbo asked wearily. He felt as though he had explained the mechanics of sex entirely too often for a hobbit of proper upbringing.  
"Fee is talking to him," Bofur replied. "Figured it would be less awkward with him talking to his brother and me talking to you, particularly given that you and I have a bit of...history in this respect."  
"So what happens when your handsome lover finds out I've given you such graphic knowledge?" Bilbo asked.  
Bofur leaned close and drawled, "Who d'you think wanted me to talk to you in the first place?"

 _Gods, that is erotic_ , Bilbo thought. He should not be getting such a thrill out of Fili and Bofur wanting him to explain dirty things. He felt heat creep across his chest and up his neck as his cock twitched in his pants.

Bofur got the satisfaction of watching Bilbo's skin flush. He smirked, thinking it was embarrassment.  


It was not.

"In fact," Bofur's drawl deepened, "he wanted to be here for it himself."  
Bilbo swallowed. "Indeed?"  
"Aye," Bofur said. 

"So, what do you want to know?" Bilbo asked.  
Bofur shrugged and leaned against a tree. "We should start with how to start, I expect."  
"What do you know already?"  
"Well, we've done quite a bit with our mouths. Licking the area in question."  
"Do you put your tongues inside?"  
Bofur felt his face grow hot. "Aye."  
"Fingers?"  
"No."  
"Very well. We will start with fingers," Bilbo said. "Have you ever put your fingers inside yourself?"  
Bofur was taken aback by the question. "What? No!"  
Bilbo hummed a laugh. "It is okay. I am just trying to gauge your experience so I know how deeply I need to explain."  
"Have you? Before, I mean?"  
"Of course," Bilbo replied flirtatiously. "I was a bachelor, you know. I needed something to keep me sane while I was waiting for the line of Durin to come along and ruin me."

Bofur allowed himself a fleeting vision of what that must have looked like before he banished it. 

"If you are putting anything inside yourself, it needs to be slick or it will not feel very good. Fingers are small enough to slick with saliva if need be, but salve or oil would work better if you can plan," Bilbo explained.  
"Salve or oil?" Bofur repeated.  
"Kili and I used butter the other day," Bilbo said casually.  
"That is bloody hot," Bofur exhaled. 

Bilbo met his gaze meaningfully, attempting to temper his own want.  
"You'd best pace yourself, Bo," Bilbo cautioned with a voice like silk. "We have a lot of ground to cover."

Bilbo's warning was pointless. Bofur was already hard.

"Once you've got your fingers slicked, it is time for the stretching process. You'll start by working one inside," Bilbo said.  
"I'll just pop one in there?" Bofur asked.  
"'Pop' would not be the term I would use," Bilbo gently corrected. "You'll do much the same as you likely do with your mouth: rub around the, uh, entrance to get him used to the idea. Then you will ease in."

Bofur groaned low and Bilbo found himself wanting to make him do it again. More than that, truly. Bilbo wanted to seduce him.

"What does that feel like?" Bofur wondered aloud.  
Bilbo moved closer to the dwarf. "A bit strange at first, particularly when one is only used to things going the other way. But once you get used to it, it feels nice. And once he gets used to it, you can gently add another one."  
Bofur tried to be casual as Bilbo stood close enough to reach out and touch. "Another one? Is that the part that hurts?"  
"It can hurt, sure, particularly at the beginning. But once you get going, the discomfort sort of falls away. It gets overtaken by the pleasure, and the more full you are, the more pleasure you'll feel." BIlbo closed his eyes and casually rubbed the bulge in his trousers. "And there's so much pleasure to feel."

Bofur tried not to stare at Bilbo touching himself but could not help it. How many fantasies did he have during those early days on the road that started just like this?

He gulped and tried to steady his voice. "Really? Tell me."

"There's a, I don't know what you'd want to call it. A hot spot, maybe? Inside and toward the front. A smidge too deep to reach with your tongue, so you've probably never found Fee's. If you rub it the right way, I swear to you he'll have visions of Valinor."

Bilbo's tongue darted out and wet his lips as he spoke. His eyes were still closed and he was rubbing himself harder. 

"Bee?" Bofur said.  
Bilbo opened his eyes and looked at him. Bofur felt a tingle race across his skin when Bilbo focused on him. He looked hungry.  
Bofur pointedly looked down at Bilbo's prick and back up to his face. "I'm not going to lie to you. This is turning me on."  
"Well, it is supposed to. We are talking rather plainly about what you are going to do to your lover," Bilbo said, feigning innocence.  
"No, Bilbo," Bofur said more firmly, abandoning the nickname. He ran his fingers gently down the arm Bilbo was using to palm himself. " _This_ is turning me on. Watching you."  
Bofur paused a moment and stroked his own bulge. "It always has," he whispered.  
"Shall we continue?" Bilbo asked, moving again so that his side was leaned up against Bofur and an arm was draped across his shoulders.  
Bofur leaned his head back until he felt the bark. He swallowed hard.  
"Yes."

Bilbo took a moment to pluck off Bofur's hat and drop it on the ground.  
He mimicked Bofur's moment of stroking down his busy arm. "Now that two fingers are inside him, it might be a good idea to introduce a third. It will make him more comfortable in a moment."  
Bofur's breath hitched when Bilbo's hand covered the hand he was using to cup himself. He cleared his throat and willed himself to stay on subject. "Ah, forgive me, but when do we stop stuffing him with fingers and get to the good part?"  
Bilbo smirked. He leaned up and murmured in Bofur's ear. "You'll take that back when you've got Fili writhing on your hand and swearing to the Valar."  
Bilbo punctuated his point by grasping Bofur's hand and making him rub himself.  
"Fuck," Bofur gasped.  
"Yes, we're about to that point now, I think." Bilbo said. 

He spun Bofur around to face the tree and pressed up behind him. Using his foot, he encouraged Bofur's legs to spread to make him short enough so Bilbo could lean into his ear.  
"Bilbo? What are you--"  
"This is the 'good part,' as you like to say. You might want to get your cock out for this and avoid making the mess in your trousers," Bilbo said low, lips brushing Bofur's lobe as he spoke. "In fact, that is not a bad idea all around."  
"Not a good idea, either," Bofur said, unlacing himself despite his protest.  
Bilbo unlaced his own trousers and removed himself.  
"Nonsense. You are thinking of Fili and I'm thinking of Kili. It is fine," Bilbo replied.  
"Now," Bilbo said, leaning across Bofur's back and speaking all his words dangerously low into his ear, "let's fuck Fili."  
Bofur moaned and stroked himself. He felt movement across his back that he knew was Bilbo touching his own prick.  
"Do you want to lay him out with his back to the bed so you can press against him? Or do you want him straddling you and riding your cock?"  
Bofur had an image flash across his mind of Bilbo in Kili's lap.  
"I want him to ride me," Bofur murmured.  
"Mmmm, nice choice. If he rides you, your job is to stay still while he lowers himself onto you. It might be an agonizing wait. When I do it to Kee, I prefer sort of rocking in and out. Once I'm all the way on, I give him a chance to adjust."  
Bofur grunted, still pumping himself slow and steady. "Tell me what it feels like."  
Bilbo made a sweet sound of pleasure before answering.  
"For your lover, it is full. Glorious. Intimate. For you, it is going to be tight. Oh, it will be so tight, Bo. You will have to struggle not to finish." Bilbo bit at his ear. "Right." Then he licked it. "Then."

Bofur shivered at the sensations from Bilbo's mouth and his own hand. He was overwhelmed.

"I saw you," Bofur confessed. "Yesterday, making love outside. I was bringing you honey and I saw you."  
Bilbo breathed unevenly as he sped up his stroke. "That's arousing. Did you like what you saw?"  
"Yes. So much. I was ashamed but it was too beautiful to look away. _You're_ beautiful."  
Bilbo moved his free hand to ruck up Bofur's shirt and feel his skin underneath. "Maybe you and Fee will have to repay the favor sometime. I've always wondered how you looked without any clothes on."  
"What?" Bofur gasped. Bilbo fantasized about him, too?  
"I'll bet you blow quite a load, don't you, Bo? I thought hobbits spilled a lot but it is nothing compared to a dwarf. Kee fills me to dripping every time,"

Bofur leaned against his forearm and wailed into it. This was--fuck, he didn't have a word for what this was. 

Bilbo licked the full of the palm he was not using on himself and spat in it besides. He replaced Bofur's hand on his cock with his own. Bofur cried out. 

"You can be tender or you can be rough once he's seated on you. He'll do some of the movement but it feels better if you thrust in rhythm for him. Come on, Bo. Fuck my hand. Show me how you are going to fuck Fili." Bilbo licked the shell of his ear. "Make me jealous," he purred. 

Bofur braced both his hands on the tree and bucked in and out of Bilbo's grip. He could feel Bilbo exhaling sharp, open-mouthed breaths into his shoulder blade as he pumped himself with his other hand. 

"How could Thorin ever stand to allow you out of bed long enough to let you get away?" Bofur panted in amazement.  
BIlbo giggled and kissed the bare skin at the nape of Bofur's neck.

Bofur's thoughts were a blur. It was Fili in his mind, but Bilbo's hand and whimpers were what were making him close. 

"Fuck, I'm going to...oh fuck, make me come! _Ivealwayswantedyoutomakemecome._ Bilbo--yes, yes-" Bofur shot arcing ropes of semen onto the tree as he came with Bilbo's name on his lips.

Bilbo was not far behind him, gasping and groaning. Bofur had heard Bilbo's pleasure through the walls but he never thought he'd hear it just for him.  
"Bo," Bilbo exhaled as he pulsed his last onto the grass below him. 

Bilbo peeked over Bofur's shoulder at the mess on the tree. "Bloody Void, Bo. I _knew_ you had a lot in you."  
Bilbo ran his thumb and forefinger up the length of Bofur's shaft, making his whole body jerk. He swiped the resulting last glob of Bofur's spend off the top and licked it off his fingertip, close to Bofur's ear.  
"Mmmm," he hummed, pulling out the digit with an audible pop.

Bofur leaned his head back and made a noise of appreciation. Bilbo reached around his finger that had some of his own seed on it and ran it across Bofur's lips. Bofur's tongue darted out and his mouth closed around the digit. He sucked it clean. 

"Is that how you suck Fee's cock?" Bilbo asked.  
"Nah, I do that better," Bofur replied, some of his wit regained.  
"I'd like to see that."  
"I think I'd like you to see that. I'd like to see you _do_ that, too," Bofur admitted.  
He tied up his trousers again and turned to look at Bilbo.  
"If you'll pardon the expression, this was a long time coming for me," Bofur said. "My fondness for you is hardly a secret, but I had no idea you found me attractive."  
"Psssh," Bilbo said. "I have eyes, don't I? So, you watched us fuck? Do you listen, too?"  
"Yes," Bofur admitted. "We both do."  
Bilbo fixed him with an erotic, knowing look. "Do you get each other off to it?"  
 _Might as well be hanged for a sheep as a lamb_ , Bofur thought.  
"Yes," he confessed.  
"Well, that hardly seems fair. Here we've been a source of entertainment and pleasure for you for who knows how long and what have we gotten in return?" Bilbo flirted.  
Bofur grinned wolfishly. "What d'you have in mind?"  
Bilbo grinned back. "Beorn and Gandalf are gone for a couple of days. Perhaps you and Fili can give us a show after dinner. I'd quite like to see how far you spurt when he pulls you off. Maybe you can suck him for me and show off your technique."  
"That's so hot," Bofur moaned.  
Bilbo replied, "I expect it will be."

Bilbo laced himself up. He remembered why all this started in the first place. 

Bilbo said, "All flirting aside, if you two decide to have sex, let him do it to you after you do it to him to complete the bond. Or the other way around, if that is the way it goes. It would be rather awful with one half yearning for the other without reciprocation. And be sure you want it. You do not have to agree to be married to have each other, but you will always be connected regardless. You've witnessed my troubles with Thorin. You know how badly that ends."

Bofur was struck by this candid bit of tenderness after such wantonness. 

"We'll keep that in mind," Bofur assured him.

Bilbo turned to go his own way but Bofur called after him.

"Ah, Bilbo?"  
Bilbo glanced back at Bofur.  
Bofur grinned impishly and raised his eyebrows. "Who was better? Thorin or Kili?"  
A grin of his own slowly stretched across Bilbo's face. "Thorin was incredible, but Kili is merciless."

Bilbo walked up to Bofur, backed him into the tree, grabbed him by the pigtails, and licked his lips open to a kiss so passionate that Bofur was grateful the tree was helping to hold him up. Bilbo leaned in and whispered with his breath hot against Bofur's ear.  
"If Fili is anything like either of them, you are in for the ride of your life."

Satisfied at having the last word, Bilbo turned and walked back toward the house. 

Bofur was left gaping after him. 

"Those lucky sons of bitches," Bofur muttered.


	6. Chapter 86 Remix Part 2--The Show

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> By request, the continuation of the "What If" Chapter 86 smut scene, affectionately referred to by Bofursunboundbraids as "The Show." 
> 
> Fili and Bofur give Kili and Bilbo an eyeful. Not to be outdone, Kili provides them something to see as well. 
> 
> Chapter 100 is a reversed, less hands-on version, somewhat inspired by this remix. The lines in the "what if" 'verse are a little more blurred.
> 
> ***Not Durincest, strictly speaking, but Fili and Kili do things with their lovers in the same room. Fili is nude. Proceed with caution of this sort of thing is one of your squicks.***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, um, here is multi-dwarrow smut. (runs and hides)

Kili pushed Bilbo against the wall and started groping him the moment he saw him again.  
"Talking about the things we do has made me crazy," Kili said. "How did it go with Bofur?"  
"It was sort of intense, actually."  
Kili chuckled into Bilbo's neck. "Oh? Did you make him spill in his trousers with your filthy mouth?"  
"Outside his trousers actually," Bilbo confessed.  
Kili stopped. "What?"  
"We touched ourselves," Bilbo said nervously.  
"You wanked explaining to Bofur how to-"  
"-Yes."  
Kili grabbed Bilbo's face and thrust his tongue in his mouth. He kissed him and groaned deep in his throat.  
"Fuck, Bee. That is so hot!"  
"You aren't jealous?"  
"Jealous of you getting so turned on by our sex that you have to wank in front of someone?"  
"Well, he didn't see it. I was behind him."  
"So much is the pity for Bo. I think he would have wanted to see that."  
"He's seen much more. They watched us consummate our betrothal."  
"Fee and Bo did? Durin's beard!" Kili undressed himself quickly and worked on stripping Bilbo as well.  
"I informed him it wasn't fair and that they owe us a look of our own," Bilbo said.  
"Watching Bo would be hot. I don't know about watching Fee."  
"I told Bo we expected a show after dinner, so I suppose you'll just have to watch him instead."  
Kili pushed Bilbo back on the bed and began to prepare him.  
"You got him to agree to it? Mahal, Bilbo! I swear you could talk him into anything. I wish I could have been there to see it."  
Kili nibbled and kissed Bilbo's chest while his hand was busy. Bilbo hummed in pleasure as Kili filled him with fingers.  
"Tell me, Bilbo. What else did you do to that poor dwarf?"  
"I-I fed him seed from my fingers."  
"You are filthy. How could he bear it? Gods, I bet he sucked them clean, didn't he?"  
"What would you say if I said I tasted his?"  
Kili thrust his tongue into Bilbo's mouth again. "I don't taste it," he purred.  
"It was only a drop."  
"Are all hobbits sadistic prick-teases? Or is it just you?"  
Kili pushed Bilbo's legs back and slid his cock inside. Bilbo grunted and sighed.  
"You love it, too. Being the one who drives all the dwarrows crazy," Kili said dangerously.  
"But you are the only one who gets to fuck me," Bilbo flirted back in between taking Kili's thrusts.  
"If Bo and Fee have the nerve to deliver on your request, perhaps we'll give them a show of our own. Would you like that?"  
Bilbo wailed as Kili punctuated his thought with a stroke down the hobbit's cock.  
Kili smiled. "Yes, I thought so."

*****

"Wait, you promised Bilbo we would _what_?" Fili cried.  
"Calm down, Fee. You have to admit that we've taken advantage of them quite a bit without their permission."  
Fili sputtered, "Yes, but to _perform_ for them? Bo, that is my brother!"  
"Did you or did you not watch him make love to Bilbo? Do we not get each other off listening to them?"  
"I watched Bilbo! I listen to _Bilbo_!"  
"And so Kili will watch me. Unless it makes you jealous?"  
Fili thought for a moment. "No, not jealous. Embarrassing. I will be too self-conscious. I'm even quiet when we play so as not to be overheard."  
"All you have to do is relax and let me put my mouth on you," Bofur soothed. "I'll do all the doing. You merely need to lay back and enjoy it."  
"Bo, this is crazy!" Fili argued halfheartedly. The notion excited him greatly, but he didn't want to think about what that said about him.  
Bofur's voice was loving. "Tell me truly and whatever you say will be the final word. Is it too crazy?"  
"Not too crazy but-but-but it is just not done!"  
"Fee, do you find it hot?"  
Fili whispered, "Incredibly."  
Bofur kissed him. "That's our answer."  
"Mahal, Bo. The things you make me want to do..."

*****

Dinner was tense. Heated looks were exchanged around the table but conversation was stilted at best. Bilbo was nearly dizzy with anticipation. Fili, Bofur, and Kili all glanced at him as though they wished to eat him alive. The notion of watching Bofur and Fili together stirred him, but he hoped Kili would make good on his offer. Bilbo wanted to watch as well as be watched. Deep down, he wanted to be the one who got Bofur off. He spent the entire meal hard and leaking against his waistband.

In the sitting room after dinner, the couples sat in their respective chairs as a fire illuminated the room. 

"Did you tell Fee about our conversation, Bo?" Bilbo asked.  
"He did," Fili replied.  
Bofur asked, "Does Kee know?"  
Bilbo nodded. "He does. What conclusion did the two of you draw?" 

Bofur turned to look at Fili. The prince licked his lips and nodded slightly. Bofur helped him off the chair and lifted his tunic over his head. They came together in a deep, wet kiss. 

Bilbo was already squirming in his chair watching them kiss. Bofur unlaced Fili's trousers and stripped him naked. Fili flicked a nervous look over to Bilbo. Bilbo returned it with a hungry stare. Fili seemed to be emboldened by this and pulled Bofur's tunic off as well. Bilbo watched Bofur undress the rest of the way. He couldn't help but rub over his crotch as the two unclothed, hard dwarves lowered themselves to the floor, kissing and touching all the way. 

"Bofur certainly is appealing, isn't he?" Kili whispered in Bilbo's ear. Bilbo leaned back and Kili's tongue darted into his mouth. They were distracted by each other until Fili's whimper pulled their attention back. 

They saw Bofur licking and teasing kisses along the shaft of Fili's cock. Fili was breathing heavy and making small noises. Bofur licked downward and suckled his stones before sliding back up and massaging the flat of his tongue along the sensitive skin just below his head. He did this for several moments until Fili stretched and whispered, "Please."

The "please" went straight to Bilbo's cock. Bofur's, too. Kili was paying particular attention to Bofur's technique as he had never pictured Fili as the begging type. 

When Bofur relented and swallowed Fili's cock, Fili guttered loudly. His upper body lifted off the floor and he was gasping for air. As soon as he had given Fili what he asked for, Bofur slipped backward and went back to kisses and licks. 

All self-consciousness forgotten, Fili only cared now about the pleasure. He twisted, moaned, and pleaded for more. 

"Not until I can taste you again," Bofur said. "When you taste like you want it, I'll give you what you need."

Kili was impressed. 

Bilbo trembled with desire. Fili was gorgeous without his usual careful control. Watching him go mad was second only to seeing Bofur licking him into his frenzy. Bilbo wanted to be the both of them. He continued to touch himself through his trousers as he felt Kili rocking his own erection into his backside.

Bofur turned his head toward Kili and Bilbo as he dragged his tongue up one side of Fili's cock. His gaze flicked from Bilbo to Kili to Bilbo again. With a wink, he swallowed Fili's whole length once more. Fili wailed and bucked upward. This time, Bofur continued to stroke him with his mouth. Fili was moaning and calling Bofur's name as the dwarf pulled him closer to his end. 

"Is that how he sucked your seed from your fingers?" Kili whispered into Bilbo's ear.  
"Far better," Bilbo replied, smiling. 

Fili's head lolled over and he caught Bilbo's eye again. Bilbo licked his lips and Fili closed his eyes, threw back his head, and arched his back. Bilbo was sure the bloody bastard was actually posing for him. Thinking of how quickly Fili went from nervous to seductive sent delicious chills up Bilbo's spine. 

Bofur was rubbing a hand up and down Fili's thigh while the other circled the base of Fili's prick. Fili was half-wild as he pushed into Bofur's mouth. With a yelp, his whole body pushed up off the floor. He twitched hard a few times before relaxing back onto the floor with a grunt. 

Bofur climbed up Fili's body and kissed him deeply. Bilbo idly wondered how much of his spend Fili could taste. 

Rolling off Fili to face Bilbo and Kili, Bofur asked, "Was that to your liking?"  
"You two are glorious together, but I think perhaps you still owe us," Bilbo replied salaciously.  
"I know what he wants," Fili said.  
He sat up, pulling Bofur up on his knees with him. He faced Bofur toward Bilbo and Kili. Fili sat behind him with an arm wrapped around Bofur's stomach. They both rested back on their heels.  
Running his fingers down Bofur's shaft, Fili said, "This is what you want to see, isn't it, Bilbo?"  
Bofur shivered.

Fili knew that Kili would enjoy watching Bofur get off, but he didn't doubt for a moment that this whole little play was for Bilbo and Bofur's benefit. 

"I would like to see how far he spurts," Bilbo admitted, voice beginning to grow husky.  
Fili's lips touched Bofur's ear as he lightly stroked his cock. "Did you hear that, my darling? Bilbo wants me to wank you until you squirt."  
Bofur rested his head against Fili's shoulder and he moaned softly. 

Kili moved from behind Bilbo and disappeared into the kitchen. Fili stopped, wondering if it had gotten too weird for him. Kili returned moments later with a bottle of oil. He opened it and poured some over Fili's stroking hand. 

Bofur was watching him with wide eyes. He felt Fili's grip grow far more slick. When Bofur realized what Kili had done, he closed his eyes and murmured, "Sweet bloody _fuck_." 

Kili set the oil down and encouraged Bilbo on to the floor with him in front of their own chair. He stood behind him and unbuttoned Bilbo's shirt slowly as he spoke.  
"Do you suppose I am blind to the knowledge that you want what I have? You listen to him fuck me. You watched me fuck him. Would you like to know what Bilbo's pleasure looks like from a closer vantage?" Kili said. 

Bilbo's heart began to pound but he was not about to protest. Kili was going to touch him in front of Fili and Bofur. He had fantasized about such a thing, but he had never dared to think Kili might truly do it. He wondered if Kili meant to make love to him. 

Fili tongue ran over his bottom lip, still very slowly working over Bofur's length. Bofur watched Kili's hands as they pulled Bilbo's trousers off entirely. Kili pushed Bilbo down to his knees and mimicked Fili's stance, positioning himself behind him. Bilbo was now on his knees, supported by Kili, with his shirt hanging loosely off his shoulders. His hard cock was exposed for them all to admire. 

Kili slicked his hand with the oil. "I know you want to see it, Bo," he taunted. "You've always wanted to see it. You've spent nights in your bedroll wondering what this looks like. This is your chance."

Kili met Fili's eyes and nodded. Fili and Kili both began pumping their partners more aggressively. Bilbo threw his head back with his eyes closed. Kili gently tipped it forward. "Don't close your eyes, Bilbo. Look at him. Look at how lovely Bo is as he takes his pleasure. Bo, sigh for my love and show him how much you like it."

Fili twisted on the next stroke so that Bofur would moan. "Do not close your eyes, either," Fili whispered.  
 _Not a chance,_ Bofur thought. 

Kili pulled Bilbo's shirt off the rest of the way. He moved a hand behind Bilbo and the hobbit cried out. "Mmm," Kili said. "I remember now. You still have my seed in your arse to make it nice and slick."

Fili paused for a moment in surprise. Bofur's jaw dropped.  
"Kee, are you...?" Fili asked.  
"If you want to see him at his most wanton, he requires fingers inside to truly shatter for you," Kili said mischievously.

Fili and Bofur could not help but stare, They had only just learned of this pleasure themselves. Kili wasn't moving the hand on Bilbo's cock but soon Bilbo was grinding back against him, breathing hard and keening. 

"Don't stop, Fee," Kili commanded. 

Fili resumed stroking Bofur, fast enough to make him tremble but slow enough to make it last. 

Kili started a rhythm on Bilbo's cock. Bilbo gasped for air and wailed in pleasure, staring at Bofur through it all. Kili could tell when Bilbo was getting too close and would purposefully slow the stimulation to hold off his completion. 

Bofur clutched at the arm Fili was using to help hold him up as Fili increased his speed.  
"Do you want to come for them, Bo? For _him_?" Fili asked.  
"Yes," Bofur panted.  
"Tell us."  
"I want to come for you!" Bofur cried out, somewhat strangled.  
"Be specific," Fili said, eyes once again on Kili to judge his reaction. Kili looked crazed but he nodded.  
"I want to come for Bilbo!"  
Fili whispered fiendishly, "Don't tell me, tell him."  
"Fuck! I want to come for you Bee!"

Bilbo was listening to this exchange and it sent lightning shocks throughout his body. Kili was mercilessly fingering him and jerking him as it escalated. He knew Kili could feel the effect Fili and Bofur's words were having on him. 

"Did you hear that? He wants to come for us. For _you_. What do you think about it?" Kili asked.  
"Yes," Bilbo whispered brokenly.  
"What was that? I don't think Bo can hear you. You do not get to come until you tell him what you want," Kili growled.  
"I want you to come for me!"  
"I'm going- _fuck_ , I'm going to!" Bofur cried.

To everyone's surprise, Bilbo fell forward on his hands and knees, crawling rapidly toward Bofur. Kili scrambled after him. Bofur came hard, his spurts halted by Bilbo's face. The hobbit opened his mouth to catch as much as he could. He moaned, catching the rest of it a split moment before Kili grabbed him hard and forced his orgasm. Bilbo was arched backward against Kili as the pleasure tore through him. When it was over, he leaned against Kili. His own seed was striped across his stomach while Bofur's dripped down his face. 

Bilbo was panting, wordless, and wrecked. Kili helped him up tenderly, a far cry from the ruthless dwarf they had just witnessed moments before. Kili lifted Bilbo into his arms. 

"How about I take you to bed and fuck you until you remember to whom you belong?" Kili asked Bilbo sweetly.  
"Mm-hmm," Bilbo replied. 

Kili looked back at Fili and Bofur. Sex haze starting to clear, they were both stunned at what had just transpired. 

"It's been fun. We should do it again sometime," Kili said with a wink.

He and Bilbo disappeared down the hall. 

Fili turned to Bofur. "I want _their_ sex life."


	7. Sradanvers commissioned Kilbo art for "Wait..."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sradanvers commissioned Kilbo under their tree from http://hvit-ravn.tumblr.com for this fic. Isn't that friggin' awesome?

 

[Art by hvit-ravn](http://hvit-ravn.tumblr.com/post/67871407075/for-sradanvers)  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, sradanvers! This was the sweetest thing!


	8. Another sradanvers commissioned Kilbo illustration for "Wait..."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sradanvers commissioned this beautiful piece to go along with "Wait, You Are Supposed To Put It Where?" Specifically, this references Chapter 22: Stormy Weather.
> 
> Art by the amazing http://miusart.tumblr.com/
> 
> Thank you so much! I'm so thrilled!


	9. Kilbo art--Smooching on the doorstep of Bag end

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader Sradanvers (http://sradanvers.tumblr.com) commissioned another lovely scene for this fic. Artist can be found at www.electricabyss.com or heidiblack.tumblr.com
> 
> Thank you both <3


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